I read something today that resembled you. A sequence of words created an image; how laughable, improbable, yet possible. Funny how reading words can make a person feel so shitty.
The view from outside the window feels more bland than a Tuesday afternoon should feel. An epiphany emerges from the blood soaked worms that live in tangles inside my head; I lack excitement, conviction, and discipline. Where has all the passion gone, and how long before it returns?
There are moments throughout the day where I wonder how life could be if society would slightly change. If things were more affordable, would people actually be happier, or would they want more? Living in Savannah has brought me many things: a degree that comes with an astonishing amount of debt, a lot of heart break, lost and new friendships, and bad business deals. Despite all of the misery I have experienced, I do have a lot to be thankful for, and I know I could be a better person both internally and externally. Financial stability never struck me as a real issue until later in my life, due to my upbringing. I’ve known that it matters, but my time in college taught and showed me how it extends deep into a person’s psyche. Many in this city and around the world deal with this issue, and it takes it toll, leaving only certain people untouched. Those who have financial stability still find misery in their lives. Interestingly enough, most would say that it is their career that brings them unhappiness. Happiness, in a general sense, has become a delicate game were one must balance stability and instability. I struggle with this daily, and hope to find a way to balance my life in the near future.